The Kobayashi Maru
A Science Fiction Short
The Competition
This short began life as an entry in the 2005 New York City Midnight Moviemaking Madness competition. I had taken part before (see Superman XIII below), and on this go around I assembled a more experienced team with professional equipment. Knowing that we would have only one night to shoot, I tried to come up with an idea that could be filmed in a single location and in as few hours as possible. Our assigned genre and topic were Science Fiction and "a card game." So I began with the idea of a group of old friends playing a game of Illuminati. I wrote a loose script that I intended to function a guide to improvisation--a thread of a plot to guide us--rather than as a strict shooting script. Given the material I was sure that having the actors act naturally would create a friendlier feel.
CLICK THE PLAY BUTTON BELOW TO WATCH THE FILM (16:09)
(Don't feel like downloading the latest version of Flash? Try viewing this video at YouTube. Click here for Part I, and here for Part II. The copy on YouTube is of lower quality.)
Inspirations
The narrative frame was inspired by the genre/topic assignment, but the story itself developed as I tried to think of something that could touch on my friends' and my recent difficulty dealing with the death of our close friend, Christopher Black, just a month before.
I wanted to do something that satisfied the restrictions of the contest while allowing us all to say something meaningful about Chris. In fact, the genre assignment was perfect for us. Chris was in many ways every bit the geek we talk about the character James being. Indeed, the story Eric tells in "Kobayashi Maru" about the ensign getting in a fight with a Starfleet captain at a Star Trek convention is based directly on a sketch Chris wrote for "The Short Bus" show back in the 90s (see my Screenwriting page). And, sadly enough, we did actually used to play Illuminati back in high school and--gulp--even after. So the genre allowed us to portray that side of Chris, and the improvisational elements gave us the opportunity to say things, as it were, to him.
All of us had had dreams that month about being in contact with Chris again--just as the characters in the film have--and so I incorporated that experience as the backbone of the narrative. But rather than it just being an affecting dream, I wondered, "What if Chris really were trying to make contact with us through dreams?" And I was certain that coming back from the afterlife just to beat the pants off us at a game was definitely something that Chris would approve of.
Production
Of course, once we started production, there were snags. We decided to film at my friend Michael King's house in Maplewood, New Jersey. His basement looked just like the sort of place a bunch of nerds would convene to play a sci-fi card game to celebrate the memory of a dead friend.
Vik David, head of Studio 7NY, and a wonderful fellow with whom all of us have been working on a few projects lately, agreed to lend us his camera and his shooting prowess. He also brought a boom and a shotgun mic--which meant the production value of the film was already destined to blow my last NYCMMM effort out of the water. Unfortunately, because Michael did not get back from work till much later than the start of the shoot, we did not have a boom operator. We started out by having Rachel Ford, who was playing the sole female character in the film, hold the boom. But holding a boom is extremely exhausting, and after a few takes her arms were already rubber bands. So finally we resolved that the sanest choice was to let Jonathan O'Beirne hold the boom. Since he also knew how to check the levels, he was also able to stop our audio from peaking out.
The downside of this decision was that the better part of the lines that I say in the film were originally his. My character, which was rather minor presence in my skeleton script, suddenly became the central figure.
Post-Production
The next big snag happened in post-production. First, we digitized all of our footage at Studio 7. We had gotten through a good portion of it when the entire editing system at the studio had a critical meltdown. The hard drives with all of our stuff, and many of Vik's other projects, were mysteriously buggered.
I stayed late into the night re-digitizing the footage, and the following morning Jonathan returned to begin editing. He found, however, that the newly digitized footage, too, would not work. Our deadline was drawing near. The only solution was for him to take the tapes, digitize the footage a third time, and cut it together on another system.
While I was in Brooklyn with Ari Lauren, my musician friend who scored this film (music theory fans will note how cleverly she tinkered with the Next Generation theme), Jono cut a rough version together. Finally, I met him in Manhattan to give him the musical track.
He showed me what he had done--which, given the crazy disjointedness of our improv, was extraordinarily impressive--and pointed out that it was 18 minutes long. The limit for the contest was 10 minutes.
By this point, we were about to hit our deadline, and there was no conceivable way of getting the story and the feel for the characters across in just 10 minutes. So we resolved to forget about the contest and to stick with Jono's exceptional editing job.
The Final Frontier
In the end, the film turned out very much as I wanted it to. The story comes across, the characters are strong, and the sense of James is haunting. The film and sound quality are much higher than in my earlier efforts, and the acting is, well, superb.
The Kobayashi Maru
(Draft shooting script)
FADE IN:
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
Four men in their 30s stand around a table in the fluorescent
lit kitchen of a New Jersey home. Each holds a can of
MILWAUKEE'S BEST, which he raises in toast.
JONATHAN
To James Edward David Inglewood! Happy
birthday, bud. We wish like hell you were
here to celebrate it with us...
Everyone toasts, kicks back the entire can, crushes it, and
tosses it on the table. ERIC belches manfully.
BRANDON
Unbelievable.
JONATHAN
Think we should plan to do this again on
the anniversary?
ERIC
Gettin' your geek on once a year isn't
enough for you?
MARLON
He needs it once a week...
Jonathan opens the fridge and pulls out the rest of the 30
PACK of beer.
JONATHAN
What's wrong with once a week?
BRANDON
Just 'cause you still watch Battlestar
Galactica religiously doesn't--
ERIC
Dude, Battlestar Galactica sucked ass!
Look, I'm a cyclon. Put the star filter
on the camera while I stomp around in a
gay leather outfit...
JONATHAN
But the new one rocks...
MARLON
Starbuck's a girl now.
ERIC
Wasn't he always? C'mon, that feathered
hairdo?
JONATHAN
Whatever, dude. Say what you like about
the original, the new one kicks ass.
INT. STAIRCASE - SAME
Everyone continues to banter about TV sci-fi as they descend
the staircase into the basement.
MARLON
Ah, the basement! Just like in the good
old days.
ERIC
What are you talking about? You hardly
ever came over to play with us.
JONATHAN
Yeah, you totally missed out.
MARLON
Yeah, on everybody thinking I was a fag.
Having a girlfriend kind of made it hard
to devote myself to twelve-hour nerd
fests of Illuminati and AD&D.
BRANDON
Don't forget Gamma World and G.U.R.P.S.
JONATHAN
Ars Magica...
ERIC
You're seriously saying that Amy
Armstrong was worth it, are you? Dude,
she was a total skank.
MARLON
At least I wasn't jerking off to Mr.
Spock or jizzing every time I found a
plus-two magic vorpal sword.
BRANDON
Whatever. You just hadn't come out of the
closet yet. I've seen your complete
collection of Babylon 5 DVDs, bitch.
INT. BASEMENT - FOLLOW
Eric and Brandon sit on the couch while Marlon pokes around
through Jonathan's entertainment center.
ERIC
Look, I gotta drive all the way back to
my mom's after this. Let's get started,
huh?
JONATHAN
Actually, we're waiting on one more
person.
MARLON
What the shit? Who could possibly want to
spend time in this dank hole with a bunch
of overgrown adolescents like us?
JONATHAN
Allison Sherman or Schumann or something.
I don't know. It was really weird. She
just called out of the blue and said she
heard we were doing something for James's
birthday, and she said she wanted to do
him the favor of showing up...
BRANDON
Is she hot?
JONATHAN
How the hell should I know?
Eric opens an Illuminati game set, which is lying on the
coffee table, and starts to set it up.
MARLON
Well, there's one good thing about James
not being here tonight--I mean, obviously
despite the circumstances... At least, he
can't kick all of our asses at
Illuminati.
ERIC
He was always such a dick about it, too,
man. "Nice game, losers!" It almost makes
you glad the guy's dead, doesn't it?
Everyone looks at Eric blankly.
ERIC (CONT'D)
I'm just kidding. Jesus!
The doorbell rings.
JONATHAN
(he starts for the stairs)
Somebody call for the pizza, would ya?
Brandon starts to dial. Jonathan runs upstairs.
MARLON
Look at this. He's got First Contact but
not Wrath of Kahn. What's up with that?
BRANDON
He actually thinks the Borg are cooler
enemies than Kahn. So did James.
Heathens.
MARLON
What? I say again: WHAT?
BRANDON
Ooo, I can see the vein popping out on
your forehead. Your inner nerd betrays
you.
Marlon continues his rant.
ERIC
(doing his Emperor
impersonation)
Yes! Use that hate, and strike him down!
CUT TO STAIRWELL
Jonathan talks about James as he comes down the stairs with
ALLISON, a woman dressed liked a California hippy.
JONATHAN
So, ah, let me introduce you... This is
Eric. That's Brandon and David. Marlon.
Everybody, Allison.
The others step forward and shake hands with Allison as they
are introduced. Marlon smiles at her then turns to Jonathan
almost without pause.
MARLON
(incredulous)
The Borg cooler than Kahn?
An argument ensues, and Allison gingerly steps over to take
her place at a chair.
CUT BACK TO LIVING ROOM
ALLISON
So, Illuminati, huh?
ERIC
Yeah, I'm guessing you've never played
before, huh? [ad lib a very brief
overview/directions of the game]
ALLISON
I'm sure I can pick it up as we play...
ERIC
Well, uh, no, you can't... There's a lot
of strategizing and backstabbing and all
that. We'll try to keep you in the game
long enough for you to get into it... Yo!
Kahn is cooler. Now shut up and let's
play.
Eric starts to lead the game, talking to Jonathan and Brandon
for a moment. Improved play ensues as the conversation
continues.
MARLON
But I didn't hear, like, how did you know
James?
ALLISON
Well, I was at work one day and he...
started talking to me.
ERIC
(looking her over)
You sell crystals and shit, or what?
ALLISON
Well, more incense, dream catchers, and
spiritual books.
ERIC
So then "yeah," more or less, right?
BRANDON
So how did you hear about this whole
thing?
ALLISON
James told me.
ERIC
What do you mean he "told" you?
ALLISON
I mean, he told me about how… He told me
how passionate you guys used to be about
the game.
ERIC
Yeah, we're real "passionate" about it.
JONATHAN
Yeah, no. We, yeah, we used to play it a
lot. James loved it. And he was great at
it.
ALLISON
(with a weird twitch)
You mean he was the best!
ERIC
(to Brandon)
C'mon, dipshit. You start!
MONTAGE - GAME PLAY
We see a montage of game play. We will cut together a "Best
Of" from our ad libs while playing. Show the accumulation of
beer cans and the arrival and disappearance of the pizza as
signs of the passage of time. The should routinely throw in
exclamations of surprise at how well Allison is doing at the
game.
INT. BASEMENT - AN HOUR LATER
The pizza box is empty and a beeramid has been constructed.
Brandon is telling Allison a story about when James went to a
sci-fi convention. But the focus is on Jonathan talking to
Marlon.
JONATHAN
I had this dream actually. Well, right
after it happened. But pretty much the
same one again just like a week ago. I
was in some kind of like a hotel or
something, right? And my cell phone rang.
And I answered it, and Holy Shit! it was
James, right? But in the dream it's no
big deal at first. We're just talking and
whatever, like nothing's happened.
MARLON
Just like a regular old conversation.
JONATHAN
But then like halfway through, I'm like
"Holy shit! James! Ohmygod. Where the
fuck are you?" And all that. I was
totally flipping out and it hit me how
crazy it was to be getting a call from
him. But he was all like, "What's the big
deal? I was just calling to say hi."
MARLON
Oh, shit.
JONATHAN
I said, "Dude, you're..." You know, I
told him: "Man… James. You're dead." And
he didn't say anything after that.
MARLON
He was just gone?
JONATHAN
Yeah, gone...
MARLON
Jesus.
JONATHAN
Yeah... I mean… You know, I woke up and I
was crying, and Carrie woke up and asked
me what was wrong...
MARLON
Yeah, I had one like that. But it was
just I ran into him, you know, and we had
the same kind of conversation.
JONATHAN
But last week it was a different. He
called, and I answered. And but after I
told him he's dead, instead this time he
was like, "Yeah, no shit." And so we got
to talk a little more.
MARLON
So then what did you talk about? Did you
get to say anything good?
JONATHAN
Yeah, I mean, not really. He was bitching
about how it's bullshit that the Federa
tion could ever beat the Klingons and--
MARLON
What?!
JONATHAN
Yeah, 'cause they have cloaking
technology, so he was like they could
just sneak up on your ass and photon
torpedo the shit out of you and then--
MARLON
He calls all the way from like the
afterlife, and all he talks about is
fucking Star Trek?
JONATHAN
Sure, yeah… It was a good conversation
though.
MARLON
Well, yeah… Shit, man. That's James for
ya.
JONATHAN
Yeah, it actually made me feel good that
we're doing this…
MARLON
Yeah, despite that we're still getting
our asses kicked.
ERIC
(suddenly, loudly)
No, that's not what happened... What it
was was that the other guy was walking
around the convention in a captain's
uniform and James told him that he was
full of shit and he hadn't earned his
rank.
MARLON
Is that when the Romulan general got into
it?
ERIC
(dismissively)
I don't know…
(turning to Allison)
But what the hell! You're doing
freakishly good for somebody who's never
played this before? Are you bullshitting
me? What's the trick?
ALLISON
Beginner's luck, I guess.
JONATHAN
There's no such thing as beginner's luck
in this game.
BRANDON
Shit! That's it. I'm out.
ERIC
Beginner's luck, my ass! Nobody wins on
their first try. We've been playing this
for years!
JONATHAN
All right! C'mon, another round, huh? We
got more beer and--
ALLISON
No. I can't stay any longer.
Everyone begs for her to play again.
ALLISON (CONT'D)
My time here was short. But I have spent
it just as I wanted... Kicking all y'alls
asses. I just have one last thing to tell
you guys.
A pregnant pause.
SPECIAL EFFECT - SUPERIMPOSED JAMES
Suddenly, the shade of James appears over Allison. She closes
her eyes as he opens his. Then in an echoing voice...
JAMES/ALLISON
Nice game, looooosssers!
James's shade steps aside and does a victory dance as he
fades away. Allison's head rolls back, and she collapses.
CEILING SHOT
From on high, we see Allison passed out on the floor, the men
standing around her in shock.
ALL
(ad libbing)
That son of a...!
THE END
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